Bars & Stars

I got to the bar right on time but I kept wondering if I’d remembered the time wrong or something. Because now it was a half hour past the time I was supposed to meet her and she still wasn’t there. And there’s something embarrassing about sitting alone in a bar on a Saturday night because you’ve been stood up. She was hot too. And seemed above board. We’d chatted a half dozen times online. She called me – always with her number blocked, to be sure, but still… Well, I guess I knew what all that was worth right at this moment: bupkiss.
It might not have been so bad if I still drank booze. Or smoked. But I was sitting at this university pub sipping a mineral water. And I was feeling old because, well, I was the oldest person in the room, except for the poor guy who was trying to sell flowers.
“You want flower for your lady?” he asked me.
I looked at the empty seats around me. ‘What lady?”
“The one you are meeting.”
She was now forty-five minutes and three bottles of mineral water late. I snorted. “There’s no one coming.”
“Then for good luck.”
I shrugged and gave him five bucks and he gave me a red rose, then patted me on the back.
After all that mineral water my bladder was stretched beyond human capacity. I asked the bartender to watch my stuff and shuffled off to get the only relief I was likely to experience that night.
The toilet stank like piss and beer and sweaty college boy hormones. And there were two dudes in there trying to figure out how best to purse their lips in a way that made them look sexy but not gay.
“Dude, the key is bottom lip,” the tall one said. “Like this.” And he stuck out his bottom lip.
“No, man,” the shorter one shot back. “You look like you’re pouting.”
“Exactly. Chicks dig guys that pout.”
Wow, these guys are our future, I thought to myself and shook off the last drops. I left them still debating the exactly relation of upper and lower lips and whether it was acceptable to use the tongue as a prop behind the lips.
Out at the bar there was someone sitting in my seat. Actually there were two someone’s – you and your friend. My first feeling was to be a bit pissed. I’d been gone less than two minutes, had my illusions in the potential of our youth shattered and returned to discover that someone was sitting on my coat and had put the mineral water bottle upside down in my glass. This was some night.
“Excuse me,” I said. “That was my seat.”
“No one was sitting here,” you replied.
“Um, my coat’s on the...”
You turned around and looked. “Oh, my god. I totally didn’t see that. I’m so stupid. I’m really sorry.”
Your friend laughed at you. “Retard. I was wondering what you were doing.”
“Why didn’t you say something,” you shot back.
“Because I figured you knew them or something.”
“It’s OK,” I interrupted. “Can I just grab my jacket?”
At the moment you looked at the mineral bottle half-floating in my glass and I think the rest of the puzzle snapped into place for you.
“That was your drink, wasn’t it? I’m such an idiot. I was just telling my friend this story about a guy and… I wasn’t paying attention. Can I buy you another?”
“Don’t worry about it. I was just…”
“I insist. Let me buy you another.” You waved the bartender over and ordered me another drink and one for each of you, some kind of purple martinis. Then you introduced yourselves. It was only at that moment that I noticed how pretty you are because before then you kind of had your back to me and all I could see was your blonde hair and your profile. Now you gave me a big toothy grin and, while you’re quite a bit younger than me, I couldn’t help but imagine you gobbling me up with those pearly whites of yours.
“A pleasure to meet you both,” I said. Then I picked up my mineral water and walked over to an empty table. You know how it is, you get stood up and your ego takes a bruising. You don’t exactly feel like hopping back into the saddle right away again.
So, I sat down and pulled out a book and sipped my mineral water. I figured I’d finish it off and head back home. It seems however that you had other plans because you and your friend came over and sat down at the table with me.
“Are you here alone?” you asked.
“Yeah,” I said and smiled. “Stood up.”
“Bummer,” your friend said. “That happened to me once.”
“What’d you do?”
“I picked someone else up,” she said. “Someone else better.” We laughed.
“Nice one,” you said and high-fived her. “Maybe that’s what you need to do,” you suggested to me.
“Maybe,” I said. “This bar’s not really my demographic.”
“Demographic?” you laughed. “Were you meeting someone for a date or to conduct research?” You took a sip of your martini and looked at me from under your lashes. I was starting to get the impression that you were both up to something.
“Maybe both.”
“Well, I’d do you,” your friend said and looked over at you.
You nodded. “Yeah, me too. Totally.”
“Are you making an offer or conducting a poll?” I asked.
The two of you looked at each other and smiled.
“She lives around the corner,” you said, leaving me no doubt as to the answer to my question. To underline the point you both threw back your martinis and stood up.
As we walked out the door and down the nearby sidestreet I asked, “was this your plan for the night or did you just get the idea when you saw me?” I was fishing for a compliment but I was also just interested.
You smiled. “My horoscope said that today a stranger would bring me and a friend closer together.”
“You can’t defy fate,” your friend informed me with a grin.
“No, I wouldn’t even want to try,” I replied. I felt like I was floating through a dream. Could this actually be happening?
I can only guess that your friend has some cash because her apartment was pretty sweet – a very stylish downtown loft. And if she’s a student and living alone in a place like that, she’s not flipping hamburgers on the weekend to pay the rent. I wasn’t about to complain or give a lesson in Marxist economics. There’s more than one way to fuck the bourgeoisie.
We walked through the door and your friend went to the fridge to make us some drinks and roll a joint. You were more hungry than thirsty though. You pushed me into the giant beanbag chair and climbed on top of me. I could feel your firm ass through my jeans and it gave me an instant boner.
I looked up at your kissable lips, at your hair that was golden and creamy all at once, and into your eyes where I could see trouble brewing like a bush fire. I’ll never forget your impish smile as you leaned forward to kiss me. Nor how loud your heart was pounding. You were acting brave but the sound of your heart gave you away and when I took your hand I could feel it was sweaty and shaking. That you made the first move even though you were nervous made you even more hot to me.
“Fuck the drinks,” you called over your shoulder to your friend. “Get in here.”
You pulled me to my feet as your friend came back in the room. She’d already stripped down to her bra and panties and she was something to look at, though you’d already won my heart.
“Mmmm,” she said as she stood and looked at me, and I looked at her. “Let’s strip him.” Yeah, you had my heart but I decided that I was willing to give her a major organ too.
You stepped forward and tore off my jacket. And your friend came over and undid the buckle on my belt. Then you peeled my shirt over my head as she pushed my pants down to my ankles and helped me step out of them.
“Pinch me,” I asked you. You understood my meaning and smiled. Then you pulled me towards you and bit my cheek. “Ow,” I laughed and turned my head to kiss you.
God, your lips were so soft and your tongue darted in and out of my mouth like a bee in a wildflower garden. You wrapped your arms around my head and pulled it tight to you, stroking my head and hair.
I’d almost forgotten about your friend when I felt her mouth wrap around my cock and my knees buckled. But you kept me upright and focused with your quicksilver tongue and your hands, comically, on my ears.
The pleasure of two mouths was like a sensory overload and I had to focus on one at a time. As much as I loved your friend’s blowjob, it was your kisses that I let wash over me. It was partly because I didn’t want to cum too soon and partly because you’re just a great kisser.
But there’s no doubt that your friend’s mouth was getting me hot. More than anything I wanted to rip your clothes off. It was almost impossible to focus on the tiny buttons the held your shirt closed, followed by the complicated clasp on your bra. It’s a miracle of concentration that I managed to get through it but then maybe you were guiding me. It’s all a blur.
What I remember is the first touch of your breast in my hands. The skin, so soft, and your nipples, so hard. They brushed against the palm of my hand and you gasped lightly at the stimulation. Then I stroked and twisted them softly as we kissed deeply and your body undulated for the first time as you gasped at my touch.
“I want to eat your pussy,” I told you.
“God, yes.”
I reached behind you and unzipped your skirt, letting it fall to the floor. I opened my eyes so that I could take my first look at you naked. It wasn’t a disappointment. Your curves - from your waist to your hips, from your back to your ass – were breathtaking. I wanted to trace those curves with my fingers and my tongue. You were like Venus.
Down at my waist your friend was putting in great effort on my cock as she played with herself. One hand stroked my shaft and balls as her other hand was buried deep in her panties.
I reached down and lifted her chin to me. “Let’s go to the bed,” I said and she nodded, panting and shaking.
As the three of us arrived at the bed I turned to you. “I want to see you eat her hot pussy.”
“I thought you were going to eat my pussy?” you asked.
“I am if you eat her right. Don’t you want to give your friend something special?”
“Oh, god,” she said. “Yes, please, please eat my pussy. I’m so fucking hot.”
You smiled at me. “A stranger will bring you and a friend closer together.”
“Exactly.”
You turned to her and pushed her onto the bed on her back. She scrabbled backwards up to the end of the bed and waited. Then you climbed onto the bed towards her, your legs on either side of her. In the full-sized mirror on the wall behind her headboard I could see the dirty grin you wore. Every inch closer to her you came, the more she was panting – and that was turning you on. I stroked my cock and let this moment play out.
You told me that when you first kissed her it was like a jolt of electricity shot down your body into your pussy and then bounced back up, through your mouth and into her. I swear that I saw you both jump from the electricity of the moment. In one moment your mouths were on each other and in the next your legs were intertwined and you were grinding your pussies against each other.
I admit that I was a little jealous watching how much pleasure you were giving each other but it was also a beautiful thing to watch. And my cock was so hard that I had to be careful not to push myself over the edge. There was no way I was going to cum by my own hand tonight.
You both moaned and writhed in each others’ arms and kisses. I could see that you were both soaking wet. Then, somehow, she spun around underneath you so that her head was underneath your pussy, as yours was over top of hers. She grabbed your ass cheeks, spreading them and pulled your hot wetness onto her mouth.
You let out a loud curse and a squeal then you returned the favour to her, fucking your friend with your tongue, as you pushed her legs all the way back to get a deeper penetration.
I watched for maybe a minute, mesmerized by the intensity of the pleasure you each were feeling and by how naturally you explored each others’ bodies. Then I exhaled and regained my senses. I knew I had to be part of this circle of pleasure; it was a moment I couldn’t let pass.
I climbed onto the bed and kneeled in front your pussy, where your friend was working hard to drive you to an orgasm. I touched her hair to let her know I was there and she looked up at me, her lids half closed and her mouth open in ecstasy. I leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth as I let my fingers discover the softness of your labia and the wet heat of your pussy.
You knew that this was someone else’s hands upon you and the thought of two people focusing on giving you pleasure must have been hot. Your hips writhed under my touch and you whimpered as you gorged on her. And she let out little peeps and moans as our tongues rolled one over the other.
But soon we were both back to your pussy that was so tasty we couldn’t help but return to it. With both our tongues working on you dripping cunt, she flicking your clit and me penetrating you, you were going wild. I had to hold your legs just so you wouldn’t accidentally snap our necks. And I could tell that your frenzy of passion was driving forward your own tongue work on her by the way her body shook and rocked and by the sounds that she made.
I could see that you were both getting close to reaching your orgasms, the way that your bodies were moving like liquid and the urgency of your mouths. I wanted more than anything to cum with you. As I tongued your asshole I quickly rolled a condom down my hard cock. Then I got back onto my knees and grabbed hold of your beautiful ass. It was like a work of art.
Your friend saw my cock and just about lost her mind on your clit. As I pushed myself inside of you, you let out another stream of curse words and my cock was swallowed by your soaking wet pussy.
It was awkward at first to thrust and withdraw while she sucked on your pussy but we quickly worked out a rhythm that worked and soon as I pounding against you. You lifted your head and let out a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a moan and then “fuck fuck fuck”. Then your body started to shake and you buried your face in your friend’s crotch again.
That orgasmic energy must have passed through you and into her because she was very soon bucking and grunting with pleasure. Nor was she a greedy lover because she reached up with her hand and took hold of my balls, now tight against my body, and passed the energy on to me.
“Eat my pussy, you bitch. Fucking eat me!” you hollered and she obeyed.
“Yes, yes. God I love your pussy,” she replied and went back to work.
“Fuck me, give me your cock,” you ranted and I did, pumping you even harder. “Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god,” you chanted.
“Yes, yes, yes,” you friend replied.
“Stick your finger in my ass,” I told her and she did, getting it wet with your juices and then sliding it all the way inside of me. I thrust so hard into you that I almost threw you off of your friend, but you had your arms wrapped tight around her waist. Still, it was enough to push you over the edge and your body was wracked with a rising pleasure, bending your back and raising gooseflesh on your ass. I bent over you and grabbed your tits, feeling your nipples, hard as pebbles, against the skin of my hands.
Your friend was also reaching her climax as you collapsed against her. She let out a squeal and had to close her legs to stop your tongue before she went into a seizure.
“God, I’m gonna cum,” I told you.
“Yes, fill me up. Cum in my pussy,” you commanded.
If I had any other plans your friend made sure that I didn’t pursue them. With her finger in my ass she maneuvered forward until she was under my balls and sucked and licked them so that every bit of my being became focused on my cock. I felt like a volcano, like a missile, or like a nuclear bomb in the millisecond before it explodes outwards. My consciousness was reduced to that tiny focal point and then I exploded in a gusher of that drained my whole body and emptied out the end of my cock inside of you. I grabbed your ass and pressed myself as far inside of you as I could as you wound your ass and your body shook.
It felt like my balls would never empty as convulsion after convulsion shook my whole being, spraying liquid inside of you. Finally there was nothing left and I collapsed forward over you and you cooed softly to me, “mmm, yes. You feel so good in me.”
We rolled over onto our sides so that we lay in a heap of naked limbs, impossibly twisted, trying to catch our breaths.
“Do you feel like you know each other better now?” I asked.
“Do you still feel like your cyber-sex girlfriend stood you up?” you replied.
I laughed and then remembered: I hadn’t told you about meeting someone from online. I looked over to say something but then you were smiling at me. It was such a beautiful smile that I forgot what it was and laid back on the bed.

Journey On A Gurney

If I’d known you were going to show up for our meeting in rollerblades – during the snowiest March since I can remember – well, I’d have suggested mukluks instead.
Not that you would have done anything different. I get the impression that you’re a pretty stubborn gal. I think you know why.
There I was, freezing my ass off waiting for you on a bench down by Sunnyside Park, thinking to myself: “who sets up a date to fuck outside by the lake this time of year.” But you swore that it would be the most amazing sensual experience ever. And from your picture, I could see that you had maybe the hottest, tightest body ever, with a very pretty face and beautiful golden hair.
Saps like me never say no to women like you, that’s one of those truths of the universe like death & taxes. At least in this universe.
So, there I was shivering on the bench when this bundle of craziness comes zooming towards me in a skirt and a parka. I tell you, if it weren’t for the skirt, I’d have had no idea it was even a woman. Then you lowered your scarf so that I could see your beautiful smile and your bright eyes. And you giggled. And suddenly I was warm.
If only life were that simple: girl skates up, music rises, they kiss on the beach. Nope.
You hit a patch of ice on the path and spun around three times. I thought at first that you were showing off but then the look on your face gave you away. But before I could do anything you wiped out and landed face down on the sidewalk.
I rushed over to you to make sure you were ok and you were laughing and crying all at the same time. One of your arms was pinned underneath you and as soon as you moved, you screamed in pain. Already your wrist was swelling up and changing colour.
“Oh, my god. Oh, my god. It hurts so much.”
“Put snow on it,” I suggested. “It’ll stop the swelling.” Then I rushes out and, miraculously, flagged down a cab. Then I bundled you inside and off we went to St. Joe’s emergency room.
I hate emergency rooms. Unless you’re having a heart attack, they take forever. You wait in the lobby. You wait in the waiting area. You wait in the triage. And sometimes you wait some more in another waiting area. Luckily, St. Joe’s isn’t the busiest in the city. It’s only two to four hours of your life that you’ll lose.
You kept apologizing for being so stupid. I kept telling you to not worry about it. That passed some time. Finally the doctor found the time to see you and we went through the exam. It got a little uncomfortable when he asked us our relationship: “oh, we met online and we were just going to fuck in a park.” That wouldn’t do. But we didn’t even know each others’ last name. You made me wait out of earshot when you were checking in because you wanted to maintain the “mystery” of our encounter. I laughed and shook my head. You’re a real trooper, no doubt about it. However, the nurse just thought I was an asshole.
After the doctor did a preliminary exam we had to wait until the x-ray room was free. He said it could be a while and so he let you stay laying on the gurney, behind a curtain.
“How long,” I asked. I was getting a bit nervous that I would have to leave before you were done.
“Forty-five minutes. Maybe. Maybe less.” He smiles a doctor smile and then left us.
“You can go,” you told me. “I won’t be upset. I was stupid and…”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I cut you off. “We agreed to go on a date and dammit, I want my full date, even if it means sitting around in an emergency.”
We both laughed, which was a nice relief. Then you smiled at me and got a glint in your eye. I knew you were up to no good.
“If we’re going to have the date, then we should have the date.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“It was a fuck date. Let’s fuck,” you said.
“But we’re in a public…”
“An orgasm would be the best painkiller right now. Do you want to be gentleman or not?”
My heart started pounding at the thought of fucking you right there so close to everyone else. “I want to be a gentleman, of course.”
“Then climb up onto the bed and fuck me.”
I slipped off my boots and laid them on the floor next to your rollerblades and climbed into bed beside you. It was tight. Cozy, you might say.
You rolled over and kissed me, your lips parting and your tongue flicking inside my mouth. I returned the pleasure. It was no time at all and your sensual kisses had me hard as a rock.
“Mmmmm,” you moaned and rubbed up against my erection. Then you whispered in my ear. “I want you to fuck me from behind.”
You rolled over and the pleasure of feeling your ass against my crotch was indescribable. It was firm and round without even tensing up. And it joined to your thighs, which were equally tight. For a moment I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the pleasure of your pressure your back end against me. Then I explored your body with my hands, feeling your sumptuous curves, your flat abs and soft skin, your perfectly sized, perky breasts. I took each one of them in my hand and they fit perfectly as I could feel your nipples rise under my touch and soft sighs escaped your lips.
Now you were grinding into me as you became more aroused. I kissed your neck and ears, biting them, licking them. The gurney was rocking softly and I was worried that we would roll out into the main hallway mid-coitus.
I reached down between your legs, under the beltline of your skirt, searching for the warmth I knew was down there, waiting for me. You didn’t disappoint me. Your waxed pussy was smooth and soft and your lips were warm and moist. As soon as I touched them I could feel your body shiver and I could see you bite your lip. You twisted yourself around to me, kissing me at an awkward angle. I’m sure it was to give you something to do with your mouth other than call out.
As we lay there, kissing deeply, twisted around each other, I stroked your increasingly wet pussy. I felt the heat radiating off of your labia and from deeper parts inside of you and I spread your juices around your pussy lips and over your clitoris, which I now rubbed gently, feeling it rise to my touch.
“Oh, god, fuck me now,” you insisted. “If they come back and you haven’t fucked me I’ll lose my mind.”
“Gladly,” was all I could manage. Not very clever but I didn’t feel like I needed to be at just this moment. I took a moment to reach down and unbutton my pants before pushing them down to my knees. You felt my hard cock flop out against your ass and you instinctively arched your back, hungering for it.
“Oh, god,” you moaned softly.
I reached into my shirt pocket and took out a condom, tearing open the package. The way you were rubbing up against me I was worried I might slide in any moment without protection on. It was like a porno version of “Beat the Clock”. I won. It was the fastest roll-down in history as I got the condom over my cock and then slid inside you. You let out a little gasp and I grunted softly in your ear as I pushed my cock all the way inside of you.
Your pussy was so tight, so soft and so slippery I almost came as soon as it swallowed up my whole cock. I had to think about baseball games and dirty dishes for several seconds before I dared move at all.
Once I felt like I had regained control, I reached around you again to take a breast in one hand and your pussy in the other. Then I began sliding in and out of you, our bodies rocking together as I stroked your clit.
No matter how much we tried to keep it slow and gentle, so that the old guy next door on the heart machine didn’t hear us, our passion got the better of us. Soon we were slapping together, quietly but distinctly and you were panting and squeaking with pleasure.
I can’t even describe how your fit body felt to hold, how your lips felt against mine and your hungry tongue felt in my mouth. It was sensory overload and the danger of being caught while fucking you doggy style on the gurney added to the crescendo of pleasure.
By now my hand was stroking your clit at high speeds, rubbing it hard and fast and your body was jerking as your orgasm approached. Finally you grabbed your pillow with your one free hand and buried your face in it so that you could cry out. But I could still hear you (as probably could the guy with the heart condition) and it pushed me over the edge. My balls pulled up tight against me, and my whole body jerked as I emptied myself out inside you, our bodies grinding and winding together. If they’d come in then they would have thought we were both having seizures we were so taken with the waves of ecstasy that flowed through and between us. I had to bite my lip so hard I drew blood just to keep from calling out.
And when we were done, lying there tangled in hospital sheets that smelled of bleach, neither of us wanted to move. The joy of our bodies pressed together was something we wanted to savour, nor did I want to withdraw myself from inside you. I could feel your heartbeat against my withering cock and it felt like if I could just stay inside you long enough we would reach a moment of equilibrium where both our hearts would beat in synch.
However, the voice of the doctor carried down the hall. He was coming back our way. I jumped off the bed, pulled off the condom and pulled up my pants. I’d just sat back down when he tore open the curtain.
“How are you doing?” he asked without much interest.
You smiled brightly and your face glowed. “Much better, Doctor.” You exhaled through your mouth. “Much much better.”
“Did somebody give you painkillers?” he asked and looked at me. “Because they shouldn’t have.”
I could only smile, shrug and shake my head. He harrumphed and told you to follow him to the x-ray room.
As you climbed off of the bed, your panties fell to the floor. The three of us stood there, staring at them, then we looked up and at each other. You blushed. Then I blushed. Then the doctor blushed and swallowed.
“Oh. Ok. Well, follow me then.” And he turned and walked away.
You looked at me, giggled and winked, then followed him.